#I'm sure I had some ideas for the background but oh well *throws in some random texture*

[kokodrawings]

“Sensei...  Dad is dead.”

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One of Rock Star Eddie and Baker Steve wrong number AU

Link to Part Two

Eddie's got dubious history with picture messages. Only a very small group of people have his number, considering he's the front man of a multimillion best selling metal band, he doesn't ever want his number to be public knowledge.

So yeah, picture message from and unknown number? Dubious.

Eddie's had enough dick and...vag...pics in his time that he, honestly, doesn't really want another. But when the picture is followed by a message, "were you thinking something like this?"

Well, Eddie's a curious guy. So, committing himself to the idea that this might be new number time, again, he opens the message.

To be confronted with a cake. A really fucking cool cake actually, it's got a car dashing around a muddy track on top with a big '5' in the middle. All of it looks edible, made out of...cake stuff. Eddie has no idea what it is, but it looks delicious.

"One layer chocolate, one layer red velvet? I can do any combination of flavours you want."

Well. Eddie isn't anything but impulsive and he was trying to figure out what the fuck to do for the 'quiet' celebration they were planning for going platinum. Again.

"I think you have the wrong number'" Eddie types, "but I definitely want to order a cake from you."

"Oh my god I'm so sorry, unsolicited cake pics are the worst 😉"

And Eddie can't help it, he laughs, and types back, "if I told you I wanted three tiers of the darkest, spookiest, cherry chocolate what would you come up with?"

It takes a couple of minutes, but Eddie's phone pings twice in quick succession, the first picture is of a spooky orange cake clearly Halloween themed, covered in ghosts and skeletons and stuff. The second is jet black and has a coffin on top that looks like it's leaking green corrosive stuff and Eddie nearly throws his phone in excitement. "That! The second one!"

"🤣 that's an old pic, I was just starting out then, but everything is edible, the green slime is made out of jello"

"Where are you based and can you make it for the 15th? I'll get a courier to collect."

"Sure thing, how many portions? And I need a deposit up front. I'll do chocolate ganache and cherry filling."

"Errr...like, 150? Maybe?"

Eddie sits and watches as the dots appear and disappear, appear and disappear, and then there's a pic.

It's a selfie of the most beautiful man he's ever seen. And he's standing in a kitchen, holding a cake pan. Suddenly Eddie's phone is ringing in his hand and he is panicking because beautiful man is calling him. "Hello?"

"Hey, man, it's Steve, the cake guy?". Eddie assumes he makes an affirmative noise because Steve keeps talking, "anyway, that cake pan I'm holding is literally the largest one I own, even if I did three tiers, no way will it cater that many, I'm a small business, you know, it's just me. I can recommend you some companies I know would do a great job."

But then, Eddie will never get to talk to beautiful man ever again, "what if you made like, three cakes?". He asks desperately.

There's a long beat of silence on the phone, "I mean, in theory, I mean, it might cost you more than-"

"I'll pay it. I'll pay double, for, inconvenience, or whatever-"

And oh no, beautiful man has the most beautiful laugh too. Eddie's fucked. He's so fucked.

"I'll raise you, two cakes and fifty muffins?" Steve laughs again, and Eddie laughs right along with him.

Steve grabs his phone when it pings, hoping for Eddie. It is Eddie. It's a selfie from the neck down, like always, Steve still doesn't know what the guy looks like, but Eddie's wearing a deep red shirt that he's clearly just dumped a whole cup of coffee down, "hope your days going better than mine, sweetheart,"

Steve sends back a selfie with a lump of uncooperative modelling fondant in the background, "that depends, can you tell what this is supposed to be?"

Steve's pretty sure it's wierd to talk to a customer every day, but he's started to find he's looking forward to Eddie's messages. Even when they turn flirty. Especially when they turn flirty, maybe.

And maybe it's not exactly professional that Steve's found a lot of reasons to call Eddie. He just, needs to get this right, and if Eddie wants chocolate covered cherries on the cupcakes, well, Steve needs to call him and check, right? Right.

Steve heads out into the lounge with flour on his nose and a mixing bowl under his arm, Dustin, Lucas and Max are sprawled on the couch, El lying on the floor. He can hear Mike and Will fucking around outside. He spoons up some cherry mixture, "hey will you try-"

"Shhhhhhhh!"

Well. Rude. Steve looks to the interview they're watching on the TV. It's some metal band Steve vaguely recognises, and when the lead guy speaks...Steve has to sit down. Because that sounds a lot like-

"So, Eddie," the show host guy starts, and Steve's knees would go weak of he wasn't already sitting down. He's certain his stomach has left the building. "Seeing anyone?"

Eddie laughs, says no, but the band mate next to him makes a show of nudging Eddie and sharing a look.

The host picks up on it immediately, "so there is someone," Eddie's still shaking his head, but he's got a shy smile on his face that makes Steve feel like he's melting. "Come on Eddie, give us something."

"It's not a thing," Eddie flaps his hands, "don't make it a thing."

"Oh it's a thing alright," the audience laugh, "come on, give us something!"

Eddie looks uncomfortable for a second before shrugging, "they, uhm, they make the most amazing cakes you've ever seen."

[fuck-customers]

This situation truly felt like the closest I've ever gotten to reenacting the L vs. Light from Death Note battle lmaoo I kept my cool and plausible deniability, but I was dying laughing internally.

(I think I've won the battle, btw. I'll have to wait and see. There's more to this war, though)

So, for background (and I've complained about this on this blog several times...sorry) my moron boss refuses to put price tags/signs on the products in the store, especially at the register. Considering I work in a retail store...this is obviously a problem. So I've made several attempts to get products priced, in varying degrees of extremity.

1. I made handmade signs/tags out of receipt paper/scratch paper and put them on the products around the register. (Candy, toys etc.) Braindead manager took them down.

2. All but 4 of the shopping carts at work are broken, but customers are stupid and still try to drag them halfway through the store and then abandon them or somehow blame me personally for them being broken. So I put signs on the broken ones and blocked them off. Dumbshit managers keep unblocking them and then customers try and fail to use them and abandon them throughout the store, rinse and repeat daily.

3. I then got the idea to go over my manager's head, but without having it fall back on me. Write to corporate. I originally started snatching receipts to leave negative reviews on the store survey, but that seemed to be a dead end, as the SM and DM are the ones who are supposed to read the surveys, but appear not to, as not a single thing was fixed in over 6 months of "customers" complaining weekly. (Usually at least 1 every 2-4 days)

4. I found a clearance price gun and tagged everything with it, even if it wasn't clearance. One way or another, it had a price on it, right? Of course the braindead moron took them off.

5. I then found actual price tags that were technically for different products, but had the same prices as our current candy, so I tagged the items with that. (For example, we'd have a tag for chocolate that we no longer carry that was $3.99 and we have some current chips on the shelf that are $3.99, so I'd just put the old tag for the current candy, since all customers need is the dollar amount and blacked out the old product description) These lasted longer than the previous attempts, but were ultimately taken down, but this is (hopefully) the turning point.

6. Just to really make sure something would change, a month or so after reusing old price tags, I (simultaneously, while also putting up old tags) made several fake emails posing as disgruntled customers and emailed corporate complaining about the lack of prices and the broken carts (among other things) at my specific location. (I did not name any specific employees or throw anyone under the bus. I just complained about the appearance of the store and any mention of employees was simply left at "the cashier" "the manager" etc. with no personally identifying info) I did this on the feedback section of the company website as well.

This all came to a head today when the braindead's mini-me (the ASM) pulled me aside before I clocked in today to basically call me out. She said that she knew that I was the one who put the handmade tags and also put "broken" signs on the broken carts and blocked them off. I, of course pretended not to know about it, because I'm not THAT stupid. But I'm not in trouble, because she has no real proof. (It was very much "I know that she knows and she knows that I know she knows lol) Anyway, she says (and we'll see about this) that new carts have been ordered and are on their way and also that she had to go around and undo all the tags (oh boohoo, she had to do her job, poor her) and will be putting real, correct tags on the products.

We'll see. In the meantime, "customers" are still going to leave bad reviews and contact corporate until changes are actually made for real. There are still other issues that need to be fixed, but are not as important as the lack of price tags and carts. (Such as the lack of price checkers, the shit radio music, the lack of employees, the dysfunctional inventory system, the bare shelves, the disorganized store, etc.)

Posted by admin Rodney

[yelenasdiary]

Bed for Three

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Wanda comes home to find you and the twins cuddled in bed, sick. 

Fluff | Comfort | No Warnings | 1.4K

AC: Another late-night idea that I had! Also, sending get well wishes @mywitchy-assassin ! I hope you feel better soon, my love x

"Honey, I'm off to work" Wanda whispered softly as she placed a kiss on your forehead. Wanda hated waking you up, but she also didn't want you to wake up in a worry. "Have a good day, baby" you mumbled as you snuggled into the covers, you'd have at least another hour of sleep before you'd have to get up and start getting the twins ready for school. 

Wanda smiled softly at you, soaking up the last image she'd see of you until she came home. Mission reports and plenty of Avengers meetings were booked today and Wanda wanted to be at the compound early to get the reports out of the way. 

Your alarm was always the worst sound in the world to you, shut it off you sat up and stretched your tired body out before stepping into the bathroom to prepare yourself for a tough morning. The twins loved school, they got to see their friends of course, but getting them up at 7am was always a struggle. You'd take a quick shower before making sure their breakfast was on the table ready. 

"Boys, it's 7" you spoke softly as you opened their door, straight away you could hear in their voices there was no way they would be going to school. "Ma, I don't feel so well" Billy pulled the covers over his head while Tommy agreed, "my head really hurts" He spoke softly as if even the sound of his voice was making his headache worse. "Oh no" you said to yourself as you walked over to Tommy and gently placed a hand on his forehead, "you're a bit warm honey" you added. 

"I think I'm going to be sick!" Billy jumped out of bed in a rush to the bathroom. Your mother instincts kicked in as you quickly followed him. Luckily for you he made it to the toilet before throwing up last night's dinner and ice cream, you grabbed a clean hand towel and soaked it with warm water before handing it to Billy to wipe his mouth. "I think you boys are staying home today" you pressed your lips together before helping Billy back to bed. 

"Can we sleep in your bed please Mama?" Billy asked, his tired and weak tone made your heart break. You hated seeing your boys unwell. "Of course, my loves, come on. I'll make some tea and get you a bucket" you replied, both boys slowly got out of bed and made their way to your shared room with Wanda and made themselves comfortable as you placed a bucky and towel on Billy's side of the bed then made your way downstairs to make some tea. 

Water and light food for Billy, pain killers, fruit and honey lemon tea for Tommy should do the fix you thought, well, you hoped. Wanda was always better at this stuff than you were, she knew exactly which foods to cook to make sure you and the boys got all the goodness you needed to keep your body from feeling any worse. As much as you wanted to call her, you knew she was in for a busy day and that meant this mission was all yours to handle. 

The day was spent in bed with your boys as they both rested their heads on your shoulders while the three of you watched movies on Disney +. The boys fought over which movie to put on only to be reminded that if they could fight over movies, maybe they weren't too sick after all. For lunch it was light foods for Billy to nibble at, Tommy had some fruit and a sandwich before taking a cold and flu tablet when he started to complain about having a sore throat and his headache not getting any better. 

By the time Wanda got home you and the boys were fast asleep with the last movie the boys picked playing in the background as the end credits rolled. Wanda noticed the house was rather too quiet for a family of three to be home. The boy's backpacks weren't thrown on the sofa like normal, their shoes weren't in random places on the floor in the living room and their home wasn't sat on the dining table waiting for you and Wanda to help them. 

She wandered upstairs and followed the sound of low music coming from the bedroom, the soft smile on her face when she saw her wife and two children snuggled up in bed, tissues littered the bedside table next to Tommy while the bucket next to Billy sat clean. "My loves" Wanda shook her head softly as she turned the TV off and closed the door quietly behind her. 

The smell of food cooking downstairs woke you with hunger, your head now pounding with a headache and the boys still asleep beside you. One look at Tommy's red nose and cheeks and you knew that you'd caught whatever bug he had, you only hoped that you wouldn't also catch Billy's stomach bug. Carefully, you managed to slide out of bed without waking your boys and made your way downstairs where Wanda was in an element of cooking and singing softly to herself. 

"You're home" you spoked softly, now realizing your throat was itchy and dry. "Hi honey, you don't sound so good, go lay down on the sofa. Dinner is almost ready, pumpkin soup for the three of you" she smiled as she looked over at you. "The boys, they're not well. I don't know what Billy has but I think Tommy is coming down with a cold or flu" you explained with a pout, "I gave Tommy a cold and flu tablet and made sure Billy had light food, toast and water but I think I'm catching Tommy's bug" you added as you reached for the painkillers for your headache. 

"You should've called me darling, I would've come home" 

"I know but you said you had a lot to do today, and I didn't want to bother you" you grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and downed the two tablets. 

"Next time, bother me, okay? Now go back to bed or lay down on the sofa. I'm home now, I'll take care of yous" Wanda replied as she stirred the pot of soup. 

----

After dinner, Wanda put the boys to bed and made sure they were warm and had plenty of water to drink throughout the night, the twins completely worn out only confirmed with Wanda how sick they felt. "My poor loves, get some rest if you both still feel like this by morning, we'll make an appointment with the doctor" she kissed Billy on the forehead as she tucked him in. "I think we made Ma sick too" Tommy commented as Wanda made her way over to him, "I think you did" she chuckled, "we'll book an appointment for Ma too" she added with a kiss on Tommy's head. "Goodnight mom" the twins said in sync as Wanda made her way to the door, "goodnight boys" she smiled before flicking off their lights and closing the door over. 

"I just told the boys that we'll see the doctor tomorrow if they don't feel any better but morning, that includes you" Wanda smiled softly as she entered the bedroom where you were already snuggled and waiting for her, "I'm totally fine" you joked but your voice breaking wasn't convincing Wanda as she shook her head playfully at you. 

"I might take the guest room tonight; I don't think I want whatever you and boys have" 

"What? No" you pouted, "please stay, please give me cuddles, I promise I won't get you sick" you added with your best impression of puppy eyes. They always won Wanda over, she caved in and slid right in beside you. "If I get sick, don't cook for me" she chuckled as she wrapped her arms around you, "why's that?" you asked. 

"Honey, I love you so much but your cooking isn't that good and I feel it would only make me feel worse" Wanda replied with another chuckle before placing a kiss on your cheek, "fine then" you huffed playfully, "the boys and I will just order pizza" you added. 

"Goodnight honey" Wanda playfully rolled her eyes, "goodnight baby". 

A week later Wanda woke up with a pounding headache and a quick dash to the bathroom before making her way downstairs, looking between you and the twins with her arms crossed. "Oh no, you're not!" you said as you looked over at her while she nodded, "I'll call the doctor" You tried not to chuckle at your wife's unimpressed look.

Taglist: @red1culous | @sayah13 | @charl-lally | @when-wolves-howl | @bentleywolf29 | @fxckmiup | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz  | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @wandsmxmff | @apollo2907 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @fluffyblanketgecko | @puta1 | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @tintedrose12 | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @lizzieslcver | @youralphawolf72 | @donnietarantino | @natashamaximoff69 | @hehehehannahthings | @pandaemonium111 | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @marvel-madnessx | @scarsw1fe | @toldthatdevil | 

[starfleetshrimps]

i love star trek bc it's actually a high school theater production most of the time. We focus a lot on the over-acting, theatricality of the actors and the directors, and that's all well and amazing, but /I/ want to focus on the /TECH/ bc ASHAijnjsdnbhgaARREghghhuuagjkshdmhbAHJBSSHJHIEJBnkjsdjhbsdhjBmahbsjshsbHkjnswkjshsn yea.

FIRST THE SETS?!? they're so silly and stupid? i know they get a lot of shit but the amount of work (not to mention styrofoam) that went into building individual sets for each planet they went to? like sure about 50% of the away missions take place in the california desert (the arena, *cough cough*, etc) but the rest of them have individually made sets that look PRETTY GOOD MAN. they get the point across, they're FUN, and innovative, and they really don't reuse planet sets all that often as well.

PLUS they used traditionally /theatrical/ cycloramas with painted backgrounds and classical cyc lighting (reminiscent of mariano fortuny's domed cyc! i WILL talk more about lighting) which look really cool and once again get shit for being unrealistic.

it's not supposed to look realistic it's supposed to look cool as shit. and it does. shut up. <3

if you view the sets as being modern TV sets then yeah, they're weird, and they look sorta bad, but THEYRE NOT modern TV sets: they're THEATRICAL SETS FROM THE 60-70S. AND I LOVE THEM.

SECONDLY, THE

lighting

while it's true that some shows in the 60s were developing new lighting styles specifically for TV, remember that in the year 1950 less that 10 percent of US homes had a television. this shit was new. COLOR tv was ESPECIALLY new. nobody knew how to light these things! and actually why would you need a new lighting style, we already KNEW how to light dramatic productions, why would we ever need to reinvent the wheel Stanley Mccandles, Mariano Fortuny, and Gene Rosenthall already invented says Gene Roddenberry and Jerry Finnerman (the head lighting designer). and oh my god i am so ridiculously glad. because the lighting. is so good.

i HAVE seen others talking about how good it is in the super early episodes (Charlie X and the conscious of the King, etc.) and i do agree! but i disagree that the quality goes down. i think it just got a tad bit more subtle as the show went on and it gets less in your face, harder to notice. but i noticed. because I'M the WORST (and also a lighting tech)

the impossibility of listing every example of amazing theater lighting choice they made is absolutely horrific and nasty so i'll just lost some my my favorites:

the cyc! i mentioned before but the cyc they used on away missions was only painted when they needed a specific scene in the background, otherwise? that bitch was LIT. and i LOVE IT.

any of the scenes where they light spock's face have green and half pink? or even just washing the walls behind him? i eat that shit UP. the METAPHOR. the CONFLICT. i will acquiesce that green and pink are (and were) pretty goddamn industry standard gels (color-films) to add to lights, for subtle contrast, but this is not subtle. it is LOUD. was it purposefully done from a storytelling perspective? no idea. is it cool as shit and interpret-able as hell? absolutely. also sometimes they do it with just green when they want to emphasize his vulcan-ness and other him a bit. like they do it a lot when he's in his room in amok time. anyway.

whenever they shutter a light so they can emphasize a character's (kirk, we're talking abt kirk here. and *sometimes* spock, and also Charlie in Charlie X but yeah mostly kirk) eyes when they say something #Deep, or just pre-commercial break closure worthy line. it's so SHJSDJBFEJNKN. to add onto this, they'll do a striking half-wash over half of their face sometimes in conjunction and it looks So Good

The GOBOS. sometimes, they'll just throw light through a gobo, or wall screen, or something, for /visual interest/ and it looks so silly i love it sm. does it make sense from a realism pov? nO. but star trek is a theater production actually and they lit everything using mainly naturalistic techniques! amazing!

honorable mentions: the glowing time donut, and the entirely random colors in the hallway.

there are so many other examples but this post is long enough lmao. notice the lights next time you watch tos!!,! please!!! <3

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: trophic level ²

He's a former idol, one of the people sheltered and saved from the inevitable collapse of humanity- probably thinking that his eye was some huge sacrifice he'd made to survive. Well, welcome to reality; where you can count yourself lucky if you only loose your eye, and nothing else.

Tags/Warnings: Zombie apocalypse, Violence, blood and descriptive gore, enemies to lovers, former idol!Jungkook, jungkook is half blind in this, near death experiences

Additional Chapter Warnings: tsundere af reader, jungkook being jungkook, if you use some glasses you can spot some fluff, dirt ew, blood and wounds ew², mild Angst

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You're not feeling too good.

You're not sure if Jungkook has noticed this or not, but right now, you're at least happy he doesn't complain or bug you about it. You don't like staying in one place for too long, so you keep on walking behind him through abandoned cars and buildings around. He's not stupid- he doesn't enter the town itself, keeps himself and you in the background to avoid potential dead people trying to gain some dinner.

It's not long, though, when your dizziness gets the best of you, sending you straight into the bushes below, unable to get up for a good moment. "Wha- fuck!" He curses under his breath, instantly pulling you out the branches and into a sitting position. "What's wrong? What happened?" He wants to know, his brown eye roaming your features for any hint.

"Oh, thought I'd take a quick nap, you know." You tell him, wiping your cheek where there's a little cut now from the sharp branches you'd fallen into. "Give me a second. I'll be up in a few.." you mumble to yourself, while he simply refuses to listen it seems, trying to guess your temperature with the back of his hand.

"You're sweating." He tells mostly himself as his hand dips into your sweater and jacket, making your cheeks burn for a second from the bold action. "You got injured yesterday, right?" He asks, brows furrowed and face serious.

"Just a scrape. But yeah." You say, moving your leg that he instantly inspects by pulling on your pants. "Ow, hey! Thought you idols were such gentlemen." You curse, while he clicks his tongue, tilting his head a bit irritated.

"I'll just ignore that comment." He murmurs, before lifting the pant leg a bit more carefully.

"Well, awesome." You throw your hands up, seeing the angry red and splotchy skin around your cut.

"Its infected. Why didn't you say anything?" He scolds, and for the first time, you actually shrink in on yourself a bit at his harsh tone. Maybe you should put the whole idol-persona you've had in mind for him aside for now.

At least until you make sure he won't have to cut your leg off.

"I didn't want you to stop walking." You say quietly. "We can't stay in one place for long."

"Yeah and you can't walk with just one leg." He sighs. "I'm not a doctor, I've got honestly no idea what to do, other than.. things I've read on Google a few years back."

"Well, then use that world-wide-web knowledge! It's better than nothing?" You encourage, and he pushes his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he looks around.

There's not many options, and even less are even slightly safe. He can't stay here with you, not with the potential amount of dead walking around in the more inner parts of the city. He has to move into a different direction for now, find some remote shelter that hopefully has some things left he can use, and then let you rest until you can keep up again.

"Alright." He says, dropping his backpack. "Get on." He tells you.

"And your backpack?" You wonder quietly.

"I'll carry it in my hand. Come on now." He urges. "We don't have time forever."

You quietly crawl onto his back like that, surprised at how easily he seems to lift and carry you, as he begins to walk. "I'm sorry." You mumble.

"For what?" He scoffs.

"Being a burden? This is horribly cliche." You complain. He shrugs as best as he can with you on his back.

"Just don't sacrifice yourself or something. Being lonely sucks." He complains quietly, and you're unsure if he meant that as a joke, or in all seriousness.

Maybe both.

In the small shed you find in the middle of the woods a few minutes away from town, there's no one there- not much supplies either, but enough to at least comfort you both for a day or two. Jungkook carefully places you down next to a cold and dirty stove, before he searches through the cabinets for anything.

"Yes! Fuck, yes, I'm so good, kissed by the gods, I swear!" He calls out but keeps his voice low, fist-bumping the air.

"Did you find alcohol?" You wonder.

"Even better!" He grins, before shaking a plastic bottle. "Penicillin!" He presents as if he's shooting a commercial.

Go figure. Some things never change.

"Alright, I'll clean that and while you're busy being a good girl and not scream at me while I'm doing that-" he looks at you from his halfway-kneeling position, old shirt in hand as well as a water bottle. You're a bit flustered at his choice of words. "-you can chug some of these bad boys so they'll kick in soon." He instructs, while you just nod dumbly.

He's surprisingly effective yet gentpe- though he has to keep a good grip on your ankle because you can't help but pull away every now and then. He's constantly making sure to whisper out praise whenever he can, concentrated on doing a good job wrapping gauze he'd found still packaged around your cut, not too tight and not too loose before he leaves you be.

"Hey I found some-" he calls out after securing some snacks they'd stored- only to find you asleep, halfway leaning against the stove and his backpack.

Quietly, Jungkook just sits down next to you, watching you, listening to any noises that might come from outside. The shed is safe, he'd secured all entrances and windows, but still, he keeps watch over you for as long as he can stay awake.

Because being lonely sucks, yeah-

But he's also really starting to like you.

[ploffskinpluffskin]

Title: Your Cousin Six Times Removed, Who Lives in the Silvervine Kingdom Rating: G Characters: Natori, Natoru, with glimpses and mentions of Louise, the Cat King, and Persephone. If you squint, you'll see Lune, too Ships: Persephone/Cat King by obligation, with a kind of Assumed Persephone/Louise in the background and one dirty joke regarding Natori and the king Summary: No cat in their right mind would pretend to be a royal if not for some less-than-noble purposes. Notes: Written for this year’s birthday bash for the prompt Long Lost Relative. I’ve written on this idea before, I’m pretty sure, or if not, I’ve definitely posted headcanons related to it, just because I’m so enamored with the idea of past shenanigans between the Cat King, Persephone, Louise, and Natori. This is just a short snippet of those ideas but I hope it’s at least a little enjoyable nonetheless. I'd love to write companion pieces for interactions between the other characters ....also I effed up, bc per headcanons Natoru should not be around at this time but I'm throwing my hands up in the air about that and going along with it

“What are you looking for, sir?”

To himself, Natori thinks distantly that Natoru sounds gratingly more chipper than what is appropriate for the situation, but, then, she almost always radiates an enviable air of absent equinimity. Even the times he has stumbled across her lording her ostensible authority over the servants has seen her remain relatively affable. However, here, now, when he is just about hip-deep in dust, cobwebs, and old records, he has precious little of his usual patience for it.

“I thought there was a detailed account of the royal lineage stashed away in here somewhere,” he responds, and as he does so suddenly realizes this old, notoriously congested storage closet should have been the very last place he’d kept the thing. He flips over a curiously modern file folder in order to read the label, spies the large spider he has disturbed by doing so clinging to the back of it, and swiftly flips it back over again, gingerly putting it back in its place with the strictly controlled poise he’s known for. Albeit stretched over a brimming pool of anxiety just yearning to spill over.

Such an old document wouldn’t have been stored in a place like that, anyway, he reassures himself.

“Oh, that old thing.”

Natori sighs. “Yes, that old thing.”

“Probably should have kept it in a more orderly place.”

Natori’s sigh this time has more than a touch of exasperation; granted, with some directed at himself for having no other response to vent his frustration than to sigh a little harder.

“I am already aware.”

Then, silence aside from the rustling of the older of the two rifling through what looks to be a series of much earlier childhood drawings made by one charcoal-colored prince and slowing rather noticeably.

The guest had arrived just recently, bereft of an entourage or any other expected accoutrements befitting a cat of her supposed status. In fact, she had all but crashed through the stained glass ceiling of the ballroom like a furry comet, unfurling from her protective huddle and shaking off the colorful shards of broken glass before noticing she had a captive, horrified audience.

It was then, and only then, Natori was too happy to remind everyone, that she had bowed and introduced herself as the Countess Affenpinscher, distant and thrice-removed but most assuredly illustrious cousin of a well-off aunt. She offered no explanation for the mysterious spectacle of her arrival, even as slivers of colored glass upon her shoulders made the burgundy of her dress sparkle.

When Natori had shrewdly remarked he'd never heard of such a relative, she had laughed and waved it off— oh, we're a private bunch, lovely, I'm not surprised— and when she'd started to falter upon naming the kingdom she supposedly hailed from, and Natori had felt they were all on the verge of revealing her opaque secret, the king had spoken up obliviously instead, one paw curled against his cheek as he lounged contently on his throne.

I think it's gotta be the Silvervine Kingdom, babe, he'd claimed with a familiar charmed sparkle in his eyes. She's got that sphinx-y luster.

The Countess Affenpinscher had smiled winsomely upon him, a slow expression which spread across her face in a fashion that had read as uncomfortably knowing, indulgent, to the royal advisor.

Clever man, Your Majesty. It's a rare cat who can see us for the royalty we are. Perhaps you have some of that shimmering sphinx lineage yourself.

And that had settled it really. The king would hear no words to the contrary, and neither, to Natori’s confused dismay, would the Queen Persephone, smiling from behind her fan with an almost sheepish amusement which he couldn’t quite parse. But there was still one cat in the king’s court she’d yet to win over, and he was currently adjusting his glasses and squinting upon what he was starting to suspect was an unsavory doodle on an ancient manuscript, and with such intensity he might very well set it ablaze.

“I think you’re worrying over nothing,” Natoru says after a long moment of that silence.

"It may very well be nothing," Natori starts in that loud but measured tone of voice that tells her he's winding himself up for a lecture. "And she may very well mean entirely no harm to the kingdom, but it's quite conspicuous all the same and is due at least some vigilance! She must have an end goal of some sort. No one pretends to be a royal just for fun."

"The king does." Spoken with a hapless shrug and a content smile, as if she isn't exquisitely aware of the magnitude of what she's just said, but Natori most certainly is.

"...Sometimes I think you delight in being thrown out the window," he finally manages in slumped resignation after nearly a full minute of opening and closing his mouth, lost on how to respond. There’s almost a sense of pity in the way he looks at her.

"Sometimes it does liven things up a bit," Natoru answers, unbothered.

"Well! I'll not entertain your bad behavior and join you for the inevitable consequences. If I'm to be taught how to fly, I refuse to do so under an instructor utilizing sink-or-swim methods."

“You’d definitely be under him.”

Natori gleans the meaning behind her facetious comment much faster than she planned for, and retribution is regrettably swift. She doesn’t have time to dodge the rolled up sheaf of papers he’d been straightening that comes down on her head, and the suddenness of it has her head spinning a little, despite the lack of sincere enmity in Natori’s reprisal.

“Oh. I forgot you don’t appreciate good humor,” she laments with a wounded, haughty sniff.

For his part, she does catch him looking upon her with a strange kind of expression, though he soon after carries on as if nothing had happened.

“Natoru,” he begins with a great sigh, exasperated but soft, lacking the usual sharpness he employs when he is in the mood to reprove,“I do not see the humor in being characterized as an unscrupulous homewrecker, no. No doubt one day you’ll engage in some manner of mummery that manages to amuse me, but as of this present moment I’m afraid it has me quite weary.”

“Oh, that’s not ‘cause of my bad jokes, it’s because you’re always suffering twice.”

“...what?”

She pats his arm. "You worry too much, sir."

Natori doesn’t answer for a long moment, but then, after a noncommittal noise of absent disgruntlement, he murmurs, "So I've been told."

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, then. Good luck.”

To that, he doesn’t respond at all, absorbed once again in a different stack of papers and scrolls, and she takes her leave. It's really a shame he's so distracted with finding the record. Otherwise, he might have seen the conspicuously modern file folder he'd disregarded earlier tucked under her arm as she departs.

[invisibleraven]

11. Of course I know the way you like your coffee. Reggie/Carrie please.

"Okay, we've got the Today Show at eight, and the Cosmo photo shoot right before lunch. This afternoon we've got your live stream for your channel and this evening there's a benefit for Save The Children," reggie outlined as he and Carrie walked from the apartment to the town car.

"Ugh, sounds like an insanely long day," Carrie groaned. "I'm gonna need a triple shot-"

"Hazelnut latte with extra foam, caramel drizzle, and extra hot, I know," Reggie finished. When Carrie looked at him he snorted. "Carrie I've been your manager for over a year, of course I know the way you like your coffee."

"Yeah but it sounds so extra when I heard someone else say it," Carrie replied.

Reggie shrugged. "I've heard worse, and you like what you like. Now I've got everything sent to Kayla's phone so she can keep up with it while I go get you some java, but message me if you need anything before then."

"You're the best," Carrie stated, giving him an air kiss before getting in the car and driving off. Honestly she didn't know how she survived without Reggie-he kept her life and crazy schedule organized. Before him she had tried to go on her own for awhile after suffering through a handful of awful managers who didn't have her best interests in mind.

Maybe it was crazy to hire her best friend to manage her, but she knew he would always put her first, before any deal, sponsorship, and song. He would make sure she wasn't too overbooked or burned out to keep going.

Plus where Reggie had a music background, he could help her flush out songs, she could bounce ideas off of him, and he could throw ideas to her as well, enhancing her sound and making her even better.

She got through her day-thanks in part to the coffee Reggie got her, and the lunch he arranged for her and the crew. Honestly everything that he did for here-and the gratefulness washed over her.

And maybe a feeling that had always kind of been there-simmering beneath the surface that she never dared act on. Maybe it was time she changed that...

"Hey Care Bear, ready to go over tomorrow?" Reggie asked her as they hung out on her couch over take out Thai.

"Please tell me it's lighter than today was," Carrie groaned.

"Afraid not, but I can shift some stuff around to later the week if you need," Reggie offered.

"I think I need a Carrie and Reggie day where we can just veg out, enjoy something trashy, and not have to worry about appearances or obligations," Carrie confessed.

Reggie hummed, pulling up her schedule and typing a little bit. "Okay, how's Friday? The only thing I can't get you out of is the movie premiere for Kayla's new flick, but otherwise we can totes have a best friend day."

"Sounds perfect," Carrie sighed. "And you can come to the movie with me, it'll be way more fun with you."

"What about Nick?" Reggie asked, referring to the latest model she took to events-low pressure arm candy and nothing more.

"Think I'd rather have a real date," Carrie said, looking at him meaningfully.

"Oh... Oh!" Reggie said, then grinned. "I'll be sure to fit it into my schedule."

"See that you do," Carrie said before pulling him in for a kiss.

[mooodyblue]

pity party | elvis x gn!reader

summary: (requested) after a rough day with the colonel on elvis's birthday, you decide to throw him a surprise party.

warnings: cursing

wc: 1.3k

note: happy elvis day <3 i won't lie, i struggled with writing this idk why LOL hope y'all enjoy ❤️

masterlist | request | taglist

"honey, i'm tellin' ya, all the bones in my body could be broken and that man would still call a meeting." elvis sighed, putting his signature glasses on. you frowned, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "i'm sorry, baby. i'll be here when you get back though, maybe we can have mary make us something for your birthday." you smiled.

"oh, that's today?" elvis rarely ever met with the colonel in person, really only seeing him at shows or conferences. so the thought of his birthday had crossed his mind. "lord, how did i forget my own birthday..." he muttered. "i'll see you later then." he returned your kiss before heading out the door and to one of his many cadillacs, heading out the gates of graceland.

you shut the door behind you before turning around and glancing at all the christmas decorations around the foyer. with your arms crossed, you wandered around the house, thinking of what to do for elvis's birthday. your thoughts were interrupted as jerry wandered in, calling for you. you made your way back to the foyer, a puzzled look on your face. "why are you here? shouldn't you be with elvis?"

jerry scoffed, "hello to you too. he said he didn't want me today, whatever that means."

you let out a small laugh. "well, you know how he is." small talk was really not your thing. jerry was usually out with elvis whenever he went, so you rarely ever saw him or any of his other friends without elvis around. "i was actually trying to think of something for his birthday today, you got any ideas?"

jerry thought for a moment, "well, i don't know if he'll love it or hate it, but you could throw him a surprise party." he suggested. "it could be nice for him to come home to after dealin' with that old man."

you hoped the colonel wasn't being too rough on elvis, chances are he probably was. the holidays were over therefore, it was time for him to get back on the road and back in the studio. you nodded at the suggestion, "let's do it! if you can get the guys over here to help out that'd be great." you said excitingly.

while jerry made calls, you had some extra help from some of the workers around graceland to decorate for his birthday, even baking a cake just for him. with the christmas decorations still being up, it made the house look even more special. you still worried about elvis though. you didn't know if elvis would appreciate a surprise party or if he would even be in a good enough mood when he returned home. "what if he comes in and just starts shootin' at all the balloons?" said billy, who was on the couch tieing up the ends to the multicolored balloons. "the last thing i want is to get shot on elvis's birthday."

you rolled your eyes, tossing another pack of balloons at him, smacking him in the chest. "just shut up and keep filling the damn balloons." as you left him on balloon duty, more people started to show up. some people brought more decorations, gifts and offered their help in the kitchen. while your main focus was to make sure everything was perfect, you also made sure his birthday cake was even more perfect. elvis had always preferred when you cooked or baked for him, he could tell when it was made by you and not someone else.

you got one final look at the decorations and refreshments set out for the party, fixing things and setting out a couple more items. then began the hard part. you made a final call to check on elvis who would be arriving home soon. the conversation you had with lamar made you nervous, elvis had lashed out with the colonel once again and was in a horrible mood. you could even hear elvis raising his voice in the background. "that overseas tour that we had planned got cancelled again, he's real disappointed." he said quietly into the phone, occasionally turning back to make sure elvis wasn't listening. "he wants him back in vegas in a few weeks, i don't know. it's not soundin' great. this better be this best party you've ever thrown cause i don't know what's gonna happen when he shows up."

your grip on the phone tightened and you began to anxiously bite on one of your nails, worried for elvis. "i can't cancel now, lamar. everyone's already here, i've got the driveway cleared out....christ. what do you think he's gonna do? s'he gonna be mad?"

he scratched the side of his head, looking back again. "i don't know, let's hope not." he sighed. the arguing in the background stopped, then a slam of the door. "oh, he's leavin', i gotta go. should be there in ten-" there was a shout of his name along with 'let's just go.' before the phone clicked. you let out a frustrated groan and placed the phone back down before going back out to the small crowd of friends and family.

everyone turned their heads to look at you, growing silent as you stood there with your arms crossed. "so, he should be here in ten minutes, but...." you let out a nervous laugh, rocking back and forth on your heels. "he's a little....mad."

"how mad?"

"um, well. the overseas tour got cancelled. so, i would assume very mad." everyone began murmuring and looking at eachother, you cleared your throat, anxiously picking at your nails. "look, i-if he gets upset about the party, he gets upset. i put this together and he'll most likely just be upset with me so...we'll just...figure this out. i don't know."

before you could get another word out, headlights shined through the window, pulling up to graceland. "they're here! everyone, hide! go!" you gestured with your hands, shooing everyone away as they all got in their hiding spots.

you smoothed out your clothes and braced yourself for the worst or best night of elvis's and possibly your life, cringing slightly at the slam of the car door and angry stomps up the steps. you beat him to the door, opening it with a wide smile. "hi baby!"

elvis's face lit up at the sight of you. despite his awful day, he was always happy to be around you. "hi darlin'" he gave you a kiss on the cheek as lamar walked in behind him, giving you a look and shutting the door behind him. "i'm tellin' ya, i outta fire that man. that tour we planned? cancelled. can't have shit without the colonel ruining it." he vented, not even noticing the birthday decorations in the foyer. "but at least i got to come home to you." he smiled, wrapping his arm around your hip.

just as he was about to kiss you again, you placed your finger on his lips. "actually, about that." you said, elvis giving you a puzzled look. you cleared your throat loudly as a signal, everyone jumping from their spots to yell out 'surprise!'. elvis even jumped himself, looking around at the birthday decor. "well i'll be damned! did you do all this?" he asked, turning to you.

"are you mad?" you pouted

his mouth turned into a smile, grinning widely. "mad? are you kiddin'? i can't believe you would do this for me."

"well, it was jerry's idea. i just did the hard work." you joked. "just wanted to show you some appreciation, i know today was rough. but it's your birthday! you deserve a good time."

"is there cake?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

you nodded. "baked with love by yours truly."

"oh baby, you spoil me. i love ya. thank you." he kissed you again and released his grip from your waist. "and thank y'all for comin'! let's have a good time!"

taglist: @aconflagrationofmyown @butlersluvbot @arianatheangel-girl @steph-speaks @vintagegirl50s60s70s80s @flwrs4aust @imgayreal @kiankiwi-blog @father-of-2cats

[saryasy]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

hi jo!!! thank you so much and to @writerkenna and @livingincolorsagain for the asks! okay let's see in no particular order:

1. 500 Days of Winter, M, 16.7K

In a small, dark room in the middle of nowhere, just outside Bucharest, two bodies intertwine. The chorus of sounds and three little words plays over and over and over again. They don't let go for one second.

Tomorrow the world will come knocking at their door, their lives will be turned upside down, but for now, they have each other, and for now, that's more than enough.

Or, the story of Sam and Bucky, and the five hundred days that bound them together.

okay I lied I'm starting with quite possibly my favorite fic I've ever written. I've put a lot of work and care into this one and I'm extremely happy with how it turned out. helps that I was possessed at the time and wrote it quicker than I ever would

2. my struggling form, my willing soul, T, 2K

It was hard, being back into the cold, gray world that was his New York apartment.

Sometimes, his eyes would look around frantically, searching for a sound that rang through the stillness. Only for him to realize that the sound came from within; an old memory, laughter and music, dancing, kids running around. A tender touch to his neck. A satisfied smile of finally being home. Eyes as beautiful as the sunset they were watching, just as striking, just as deep.

He could look at nothing else till the day he died, and would die happy and sure that he’d seen the most beautiful sight this world had to offer.

the first fic in my inspired by Hozier series! it was born into existence through sheer stubbornness (and my deep need to do a bucky character study) I kept listening to the song (which I still fucking love) and reading the lyrics and then this happened and I couldn't be happier

3. darling, i’d go through it again (if i could hold you for a minute), M, 1.8K

There’s an irritating feeling in his chest, making it harder to breathe. It was like this when he first stayed home and Sam started going on missions alone - well not exactly alone, but without Bucky. It took some time, but he got to a better point where he could actually breathe while Sam was away.

This is different, though. This isn’t the tightness of chest he’s come to be on familiar terms with, nor is it the forceful beating his heart has gotten used to dancing to.

He wants to voice it, to let it out, but when he goes to, the words lodge in his throat.

another one from the series and my first MCD! I really liked playing with the fantasy elements in it too

4. for all of the things i am (not), G, 1,8K

‘You’ll find the one,’ people like to say, but the thing is, he already has. He was lucky enough to find him in the scorching desert heat; blond locks that looked like they were on fire, a pair of green eyes so captivating, you couldn’t help but follow them everywhere, and a smile that could bring the proudest men to their knees. He found him, but he slipped away from between his fingers in the darkness of the desert sky as he sank to his fate. Forever falling, forever gone.

Or, Sam's grief catches up with him.

had to throw in my only gen fic up to date and ngl I wanna write another one. unfortunately the engagement with these is quite low I find myself leaning towards character studies with background shipping. but yeah would love to do it again

5. Firsts & Lasts, T, 613

You never know that your last time is going to be your last.

Or, Sam considers his lingering feelings for Riley, and his developing ones for Bucky.

look I have such a soft spot for samriley, I love writing them so fucking much. the tragedy is oh so gorgeous. I really hope to write that samriley idea I have one day

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals - In The Hall Of The Mountain King

Hey, it's a Voiceplay Visuals post for a video which I originally skipped over! So yeah, it's been a hot while since we've had a new full-length VoicePlay video, and it's been even longer since there's been a video worthy of a Voiceplay Visuals post, so I was like "y'know what, I might as well swallow my inhibitions and go watch In The Hall Of The Mountain King." Because if you didn't already know, I had never actually watched that one! I kinda just glanced at the thumbnail and went "hmm maybe not", but eh, what can I say, it's still Voiceplay content, and I knew from what I had heard about it that this one is/would be deserving of a visual analysis, so here we are!

Anyway, In The Hall Of The Mountain King was released on the 17th of September, 2022, and features Elizabeth Garozzo, who has provided background vocals for the Frozen 2 Medley and the Greatest Showman Medley, and she also featured in Just Sing I believe? Layne did the arrangement for this one (other than one small section which was arranged by Geoff), and he was also in charge of the video. Note: this is gonna be a rare instance of me breaking my informal personal rule of "only talk about what's on screen, don't talk about vocals", because the visuals and audio are so closely linked together in this one that it simply must be acknowledged! However, I'll keep it simple, and still only talk about stuff that's directly relevant to what's happening onscreen. But enough rambling, let's get into this!

Barely a few frames into the video and already you know this is gonna be one of those videos. The kind where the moniker "theatre kids of acapella" is practically an understatement! 😂

(Also peep the Shock mask from Nightmare Before Christmas on the far left of frame!)

I'm not giving everyone individual screencaps to talk about their appearances, because there's a lot to talk about in this video and I'm not sure whether I'll be at risk of hitting image limit or not. But of course I have notes!

Kudos to Rick Underwood as always, plus Renette Feren, for the makeup and prosthetics! Joint credits are given to Pattycake Productions and "Penguin Point Productions" for the costuming. Also check out what Eli's wearing! Does that patterned cuff/sleeve look familiar? That coat also got used in My Mother Told Me, and then later on in Valhalla Calling!

Geoff is teal/blue (again), Eli is green, Elizabeth is pink/purple, Cesar is red, and Layne is orange. I know I'm just stating the obvious, but keep note of it anyway!

(Oh yeah and look at the Lock mask in the background between Geoff and Eli!)

Eli: "Hey how about I add this to the cauldron?" (I believe that's a carrot? Or meant to be anyway)

Elizabeth: "How about you don't?"

1, Elizabeth is very pretty in this, and 2, when she starts singing and adds some magic sparkly stuff to the cauldron, the cauldron starts glowing purple!

Has that fur cape/cloak been used in a different video? Idk

So yeah, all the guys are wearing contacts to match their skin colours (idk if Elizabeth is). Coloured contacts are a pain in the backside to apply apparently, or for Geoff and Eli they are anyway

Ngl I think Geoff's character in this is growing on me, but I do still largely prefer Geoff as his normal self of course <3 (with like two exceptions)

Also he throws something into the cauldron and I have no clue what it is/what it's supposed to be, just that it's small and round! But after he does so (while still taking lead vocals), the cauldron starts glowing blue! Noticing a pattern yet?

I think Cesar really wants to add that bottle(?) of whatever that is to the potion/mixture! 😄

(And man that is one heck of a cool ear design!)

Layne, however, is less keen on the idea 😂

(And you can just see the Barrel mask behind his shoulder on the right here! Idk what the original intention was, but the masks are fun little easter eggs!)

*Pfft*

Geoff: "uh you good there?"

Eli takes a sip of the potion...

...And then starts singing operatically!

Yeah so two of recurring audio-visual connections in this video (or however you wanna phrase it) is that 1, the cauldron glows the colour of whoever has just added something to the potion (usually while vocalising), and 2, taking a sip from the potion makes you sing opera-style, at least until weird stuff starts getting added to it, lol

I still don't understand the why/how of this bit, but sure let's just go with it I guess 😂😅

(Also when Eli chucks Mini Eli into the cauldron (rip), the cauldron then glows green!)

Cesar: "Hey Layne what's that over there?"

Layne: "What? Where?"

And so while Layne's distracted, Cesar sneaks an extra little something-something into the potion! (I don't know if the spider label has any real meaning to it)

Geoff how dare you be cute in this video of all things! /lh 😂

Cesar gives Layne a taste of the potion...

...And it apparently made him drunk! XD

Cesar thinks it's hilarious, Eli is Concerned(tm)

Also, a fun fact that I learned from one of the comments: Apparently when Layne starts "drunk singing" here, the music switches from minor key to major key! (I don't know how to tell the difference so I'm just taking their word for it). And then after Cesar slaps him out of his drunken state (lol), the music switches back to minor key!

Eli I know you like spicy food but this is ridiculous 😆

Yep, the potion is now definitely much spicier! 😝

(And also, now the music is sppeding up! It's linked!)

This was a very cool switch-up in the music, and I like how they depicted it in the video!

What a queen, I love her (Also that is some really good airbrushing work!)

Geoff coming in with an extra bonus ingredient! (And even here his hair still looks really nice goddammit)

Also this isn't directly linked to the visuals, but this little "swing" section (that has been compared to the OG Inspector Gadget theme tune) is the bit that Geoff came up with/suggested for the piece!

Surprise carrot incoming

Mr Carrot Lord Layne is quite pleased with himself it seems!

Until he realized what he did would affect him too, that is! Lol rip

So yeah, that's In The Hall Of The Mountain King! Wild video, even wilder arrangement (like seriously, this is a piece of classical music! No lyrics! To do it all acapella and still make it creative and interesting and enjoyable is insane!). Idk when or what the next VoicePlay video will be, but hopefully it'll give me plenty to talk about! Bye for now!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Happy Birthday!!!

I know I sent a birthday message over your other blog, but I figured I should send one here too ^^

Also, since you love some of my OC's, I thought maybe you'd like a birthday message from them too ^^ I hope this doesn't come off egotistical.

~

Walking out to your living room, you were immediately met with the sight of a certain fox lounging across your couch like he owned the place. If you didn't know this guy, you would have called the police right away... Honestly you probably still should. Knowing him, he was only here because he needed something or he was running from someone. But- "Howdy there, beautiful. Rough night~?"

Knowing he was referring to your state, having just awoken, you cross your arms and raise a brow at his own unkempt appearance, "Hello pot, my name is kettle. How are you?"

"Ooohhh, never heard that one, before~"

You opened your mouth to reply, before your eyes landed on the coffee table and saw something that certainly wasn't there the night before; a lovely, decorated cake with unlit green candles on top. Seeing your shocked expression, Henry hummed and flicked his tail in that way that you weren't entirely sure what he was thinking, "'Bout time you noticed... The bakery was throwing it out. I don't like cake, so it's for you."

"... The bakery was going to throw out this fancy cake, with candles on it, that just so happens to have 'Hannah' written on it?"

"... Yes."

All you could do was shake your head. Henry was such a jerk... But he was your jerk, "Pfft. I love you too."

~

When your coworker called you over, claiming someone was on the phone looking for you, you had a few ideas on who it could have been. It was a little nerve wracking, wondering why you were being called while you were on the clock, "Hello?"

"Hannah, baby!" All of your worries dashed away as soon as you heard Shiny's voice on the other line. She never would have called you if it was an emergency, "I meant to catch you before you went to work. I had a late night last night, hehe."

"You mean later than usual?"

"Yeah." You could already see her tired grin and her rolling her shoulders, in that pretty, relaxed way that made you smile. There was a pause over the phone, and it sounded like she was taking a sip of something- more than likely coffee- before she continued, "So, how's my aged beauty doing~?"

"Ohhh don't even joke like that, ma'am. I'm not ready for it."

"Ah, I remember feeling that way." The weasel lady chuckled, making you shake your head in amusement, "It'll go away once you reach my age, I promise."

"Says the lady who's only 37."

"To-may-to, to-mah-to, whatever. Anyways! You don't need to get in trouble, so I'll make this quick." You could hear rustling in the background on Shiny's end. It sounded like she was moving clothes around. Possibly laundry? Or just getting ready for her day? You wouldn't put it past her if she called you in the middle of her morning routine, "So, did'ya know that there's a birthday special at the club?"

Oh? "There is? You never mentioned it before."

"Uh-huh. You get your choice of a free shake or plate of nachos! And a private show with a lucky dancer~"

Either this was a new development at Shiny's club, or this was her way of trying to convince you to come over and hang out with her and Terry. Not that she needed to try that hard, "Do I still have to pay for the dance, then?"

"Hmmm... If the dancer of your choosing decides it~"

"Does it have to be a dance? Or can the dancer just sit and share my nachos or shake?"

"Oh she definitely will. No amount of money can beat free food."

You couldn't help the chuckle escaping you. Shiny could never be subtle, "I can't argue that... Lemme think about it. I made plans today after work."

"Ah, fair enough." Her voice lost the playful edge in her voice, taking a warmer, content tone, "Well, either way, in case we don't catch each other, happy birthday, little witch."

~

You didn't expect the knock on your door so late- well, it wasn't late late, but still an unexpected time for guests. But seeing who it was through the peephole, you happily opened the door, grinning ear to ear when you saw the two familiar, fluffy faces, "Moony! You brought Cake!"

"Yeah, she missed you." The wolfs tail was already wagging excitedly as he carefully stepped inside, having to duck under your doorframe. The little rabbit tucked in his arms looked ready to hop into yours, making Moony chuckle, "See?"

The two of you shared a laugh. It took a moment before Cake was calm enough to be put down and not try to climb all over you. Once she dashed off to explore your house and to find Ghost, Moony looked to you with a guilty neck rub, "I'm sorry I never got back to you yesterday."

"That's alright. We both had pretty full days."

"Still. I didn't get to give you this." Reaching inside his flannel, Moony pulled out a box that could fit inside his palm. Though considering how huge his hands were, that wasn't saying much. His toothy grin was a little lopsided, almost like a nervous boy asking out his first crush, "Happy belated birthday, Hannah."

"Oh. Moony, you didn't have to!" You felt your heart grow all fuzzy without even knowing what was in the box, yet. You knew Moony; it was definitely something he put a lot of thought and love into. Something he knew for a fact that you would love ^^

"What kind of birthday would it be if you didn't get something?" Moony shrugged as he handed you the nicely wrapped box. Before you could open your gift, he pointed a thumb to the front door, "And, as a bonus, I thought I could offer my services."

"Services?"

"Yeah. You bought too many books, didn't you?" His soft smile turned into a teasing grin as he crossed his arms, chuckling when you huffed at him, "I thought so. Lucky for you, I brought my tools so I could extend your bookshelf. I can be in and out before you and your folks settle down for the night. Whaddya say?"

I hope these put a smile to your face! Have a good rest of your birthday!!! 💚💚💚

I CANT EVEN-

I LOVE THESE

THANK YOU SARAHHHH!! Omg, afhgasydfauscvutAGCSYfcquv, Moony in flannel you say??? Moony coming to build me a damn bookcase??? That is HUSBAND FUCKING ACTIVITY. Jesus damn christ. I- I- and SHINY CALLING ME ALL TIRED FROM HER NIGHT JUST TO TEASE ME AND OFFER ME NACHOS WITH HER AND TERRY??? H e l l yes I'll make it there!!

And- and- oh my god. HENRY!! That one is so damn cute, I cant XDD UGHHHHHHHH i love him!!! And i hate him. My villain-loving nature is killing me with him XDDD

YOUR WRITING SARAH!! IT JUST- I- OH MY L O R D. ITS GONNA KILL ME BUT ITS OKAY I'LL BE HAPPY!! XD

I really cant express how much I love these. I'm actually tagging them though, so I can find them again-- and I never really tags asks. So that should tell you something XD

Thank you so much!!! ^^ <3<3<3

[dancingdub]

Never Kiss And Tell

Written in Emily's POV. based off SOME events in the beginning of season 6 but I made the rest up.

this contains smut and drinking 18+ ONLY

word count 2.3k

JEMILY FANDOM

It was early, and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. I was just getting used to having a day off but we all got called into work on a case. I just had a feeling this would be a long one.

After we all got on the jet and talked about some background on the unsub, it felt like only minutes passed before we were landing. Everyone was tense, we only had limited time to find the victims.

After a long 2 days the case was finally closed. Everyone came together and we were able to take home a win. I couldn't help but notice how especially tense jj was. I’ve been trying to keep my eye on her lately, it seems like she's got some extra stressors. I know she had a meeting with the chief and Hotch prior to leaving for this case. They offered her a job at the pentagon and weren't going to take no for an answer, though she respectfully declined. She worked really hard on the last case. She was the reason we got the win, we wouldn’t be a team without her.

It was a long way back to Quantico, my head was pounding. I just really needed a good night's rest. I was able to shut my eyes on the jet, but before I could actually fall asleep we were back. Everyone was dragging back into the office. I finished up some files and got all my stuff together to go home. I noticed Derek and Spencer chatting. I walked over to them and took a seat at Derek's desk, he was standing and Spencer was sitting on my left.

“So what's this news about jj leaving the team?” Derek asked Spencer, then looked at me.

“I had no idea she was going to leave in the first place.” Spencer looked pouty. We all knew how he felt about jj. “She did mention on the jet about a job at the pentagon. They're really trying for her.” I’m pretty sure they were all there for that conversation but I guess not. Jj was in her office but her door was closed. “Maybe you should go talk to her.” Derek said to me, and it didn’t sound like a bad idea. After all, we have been getting closer in the last couple weeks.

“I’ll let you know what she says.” With that, I stood up and made my way over to her office. I gave the door a light knock before opening and peaking inside. Jj was just sitting there with tears in her eyes, staring at her desk.

“Oh jj, I’m sorry, i can come ba-”

“No stay.”

“What happened?” I couldn't bear to see her like this. I just wanted to wrap her up in my arms.

“I have to leave the BAU.”

“What, why?” The look on her face was devastating, and I knew how she felt. We’re a family.

“They’ve given me no choice, I’ll be gone by the end of the week.”

“Oh no jj,” was all I could say before I made my way over to her and hugged her tight. She smelled like flowers, her hair soft against my face.

“You know what, screw them. Do you want to go get a drink with me?” I was hopeful she would say yes.

“Yeah that sounds good actually, I could really use one.” I helped her grab her things and we made our way to my desk.

“So where you ladies going?” Derek asked, obviously hoping for an invite.

“It's a girls night tonight, maybe next time.”

“Damn, I'm holding you to that Prentiss!”

“I can’t go anyway, there's too much stuff to do.” Spencer said, but he never really went anywhere anyway.

“Goodnight guys,” jj said and i just waved goodbye.

We made our way into the parking garage.

“ Do you wanna just follow me?” I asked jj and she nodded. We both got into our cars and made our way to the nearest bar. It was on the cheaper side which I didn't really care about, I just needed a drink.

Once we both settled at the bar, I ordered us 2 whiskey shots. I couldn't help but watch jj throw the shot back before I took my own. Then ordered us each a double shot to sip on.

“ I don’t know what to do Emily, I really don't want to leave the BAU.”

“ Well, did they give you any other options?”

“ I mean, not really.”

“ I’m sorry jj, I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“ I know, it's okay. You guys better still talk to me after I leave.”

“Why wouldn’t we? We all love you jj.”

“ Well I love you too.” she smiled that sweet smile before taking another sip on her drink. Before I could keep track, one sip turned into 3 more doubles. God I was surely feeling it. Jj found herself talking to a couple people at the bar about her job switch. I know she was sad about it, and she was slurring her words. I knew she wouldn't be able to handle as much as me but she just kept throwing it back. I’d actually never seen jj like this, her guard down chatting with a bunch of randoms about work. I was sure to pay close attention, though I was already paying close attention to her. I don’t know what has come over me, but all I know is I want her to come home with me. Jj’s always been a little extra talkative with me, even a little flirty. Maybe this was my last chance before she was gone.

“ Hey Jj, are you almost ready to go?” She turned around and looked at me with the biggest smile on her face.

“ EMILY! Oh Emily. You know I love you right? You know I would never leave you unless I didn’t have a choice right?” She wrapped her arms around my neck but could barely hold herself up.

“ Oh yes I know, but I think it's time to go home.” she sighed and let her arms fall to her side.

“ well can we at least just go back to your place? I don’t want to go home yet. Pretty please Emily?” GOD. she's going to kill me, in a good way.

“Alright c’mon, I’ll drive you back here tomorrow to get your car.”

“Yay! Sleepover at Emily’s!” I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this drunk. She really must be going through it. I paid the rest of the tab and grabbed her hand. I walked her out of the bar and helped her into my car. Once I got to driving, she started singing “who knew” that was playing on the radio. She was being adorable. I couldn’t help but feel the sadness that was disguised underneath the surface, I just wanted to protect her, I just wanted to be with her. It was an overwhelming feeling and I’ve been pushing it back for too long.

Once we got to my apartment I helped her inside and sat her down on the couch.

“Emily! Emily”

“Yes Jj?” I walked over and sat next to her.

“ Do you think I’m pretty?” oh god, I’m in deep now.

“Of course, I think you're beautiful.”

“Really?”

“Yes Jj.”

“Would you ever kiss me?”

“Uh I don’t- I can’t answer that.”

“Why not? I would kiss you.” Oh no.

“ I don’t know if we should do this Jj.” but I so badly wanted to.

“I won’t tell.” she lifted her hand to caress my cheek before leaning in for a kiss.

I hesitated for a moment before meeting my lips with hers. I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I felt like a teenager all over again. She pulled away and looked at me with those full blue eyes before leaning in for another kiss. I just couldn’t help myself. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve been laid let alone kissed, and I’ve never been kissed like this. So soft and gentle, her lips as soft as silk. I moved closer, never breaking the kiss. I grabbed the back of her head, deepening the kiss. She got up and straddled my legs, our lips never parting. Her one hand was in my hair, her other hand on my waist. I grabbed her waist to pull her closer, my tongue in her mouth. After a few moments she started rocking her hips against mine. She wanted me and I wanted her, so badly.

“Bedroom?” I said breathlessly. She nodded and stood up. She walked more stable now, sobering up. Hopefully she wouldn’t change her mind. Hopefully she won’t be mad at me. She swayed with each step, pulling her shirt over her head and throwing it on the floor before we even reached the bedroom. I followed suit, kicking off my shoes and pulling my shirt over my head. She laid on my bed and I made my way on top of her. She knew I was more dominant, she knew I was in control. I began kissing her neck, sucking lightly on each spot after every kiss. I wanted to make tonight last, so I took my time. I knew I wouldn’t get another chance like this. I made my way down her neck, kissing and sucking each collarbone. She was squirming beneath me, her hips rocking into me. I was in a trance, I wanted to kiss every inch of her. I made my way down her stomach, licking down to the top of her pants. She immediately unbuttoned her jeans and I helped her get them off. She was wearing pink panties and she looked so damn tasty.

I kissed over her panties, right over her lips and down to her sex. She was soaked and rocking her hips into my kiss.

“Emily please. I need you now.”

“I’m not ready yet, jj.”

“Please Emily. I need you to fuck me.” she was reaching to take her Panties off so I helped. She was dripping, and it was all for me. I didn’t want to wait, I wanted to taste her perfect pussy. I kissed the inside of her thigh, then dug my teeth into her. She moaned as I licked my tongue across, soothing the sting. I kissed over her pussy again before running my tongue down her slick. She tasted so sweet. I ran my tongue down her slick again and stuck the tip in her. She was beginning to get very vocal and that made me wanna devour her. I did this a third time and stopped at her swollen clit lapping over and over with my tongue.

“Oh Emily, I need more. Please”

I continued to play with her clit driving her mad, her hips bucking against my tongue.

“Emily.” I didn’t stop.

“EMILY PLEASE!” I drove my fingers into her pussy. She said my name again, making me want to fuck her so hard until she passed out. I began pumping my fingers in and out of her. She was grabbing the sheets in her fists, moaning at every stroke. I felt her pussy start to pulse, and I knew she was close, I picked up the pace and began flicking her clit with my tongue as I fucked her, curling my fingers to hit her sweet spot.

“ Emily I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum for me baby.” After two more strokes Jj lost all control. Her legs began to shake, trapping my head between them. I slowed down, riding out the high with her. I pulled out and licked my fingers, she had the best tasting pussy.

“Emily.” she was giving me that look, that she needed something.

“ Are you okay?” I was getting worried. Maybe this was a mistake.

“Sit on my face, now.” Holy shit.

I couldn’t get my pants off fast enough. Once they were finally off she grabbed my shirt and pulled me in for a sloppy kiss, the taste of her still on my lips. She guided me up and slid down so I was spread over her face.

I don’t think she’s ever been with a woman, how could she possibly know- UGH!

Before I could finish any thought her mouth was on me. The warmth of her tongue running up and down my slick.

“God you're so wet.” she spoke in a raspy tone, sending me in a spiral.

She surely knew what she was doing, I’ve never felt this good before. She ran her tongue over my clit and I couldn’t help but thrust my hips. She took that as a sign and did it again and again until my pussy was riding her face. She had both hands on my ass as I rode her tongue. She slowed and let me find my pace.

“Right there, jj. Don't move.” She did as I said and I rode her tongue until I came. My legs could no longer support me and I rolled over to the side of her. We were both breathing heavily. I turned and looked over at her and gave her a kiss, tasting myself on her mouth.

“That was incredible jj. Where did you learn that?”

“ Never kiss and tell.” she smirked and closed her eyes. I pulled the covers up and dozed off.

***

The next morning Jj woke up before me, I felt her rummaging through the room looking for her clothes.

“God, what time is it?” I couldn't even open my eyes.

“It's nearly 6 but I’ve gotta go. Can you drive me to my car?”

I groaned and sat up. I slipped out of bed and threw on my clothes from last night. We made our way out the door and to my car.

The drive was silent and I didn't mind at all, my head was pounding. I pulled up to the bar and parked next to her car. She looked over at me.

“Can we please not tell anyone about this?” she asked.

“Never kiss and tell.”

[imaginesxthevamps]

So Wednesday it's Con's birthday and I would like to do something for it on this blog. If you have an imagine request you can always send it in or other ideas are also welcome! -//hmm u know how Con posted his last 2(?) tiktoks while giving us shirtless content, how about he overhears y/n talking to evie about him and how he looks really good shirtless? If u want and if it's ok, maybe they're at a pool or something and Con keeps making fun of y/n liking his abs, but they end up having some alone time and since she's wearing a bikini, his eyes are constantly on her boobs and ass and from this they end up in a very heated make out session. Thank uu and i hope it's ok ❤️ if it's not, u can leave out the last part

Shirts off | Connor Ball

Word count: +/- 2.1k

Date: 26/03/2023

Proofread: yes (but language and grammar mistakes can still be present

Warnings: none

Tags: Connor Ball, The Vamps, imagine, xreader, fanfiction, one shot, fluff

A/N: Hii, I hope it's how you wanted it! Thank you for your request :)) Much love❤

______________________________

You feel the warmth of the sun on your skin. The few waterdrops left on your skin are drying up. In the background you hear people are laughing and talking, having fun. You hear water splashing after that someone jumped in the pool. You open your eyes to see that it was Connor who jumped in the pool. He is talking to James now. Slowly you raise your sunglasses a little bit to take a good look at Connor. He is smiling, looking happy. You can deduce from his gestures that he is explaining something to James. Your eyes fall on his chest. Waterdrops are gliding down from his chest over his belly. You can't help but stare at his abs. 

'Y/N, you still here?', you hear someone next to you ask.

It's Evie, she is lying on the sunbed next to you. The boys had a gig in Barcelona last night which Connor invited you to. The boys suggested to spend the day at the pool before everyone has to leave tomorrow. 

'Did you ask something?', you ask confused while diverting your head at her.

'I asked if you wanted a drink or something because I'm getting some for me and Kirstie', she says with a smile.

'Uhm, you know can you get me a white magnum? Kinda craving some ice cream', you say.

'Ofcourse!', she says.

You give her the money for the ice cream and she gets up to get everything. You look back at Connor who is swimming now. You can see the muscles on his back moving. Suddenly he dives into the water. When he comes back up he throws his head back and with his hands he goes through his hair. Your eyes are locked on him and you can see every small move he makes. Slightly you bite your lip without knowing. 

'Here you go', you hear Evie say.

You look at her and you take the ice cream which she is handing to you.

'Thank you, you're an angel'.

'So who are we looking at?', Evie asks. 

'Nobody I wasn't looking', you lie. 

'Girl, you were literally staring'.

A blush creeps to your cheeks. Totally not knowing what to say to Evie you miss that Connor gets out of the pool and walks your way.

'Okay, maybe I was looking at Connor, maybe', you say silently.

'Oh my god, do you like him?'

'Maybe, idk. He is always so sweet, always making sure if I'm okay. He always makes me laugh. And please look at him, he always looks so incredibly good shirtless, his chest and his abs'

'Well I mean he also likes to show them off', Evie says jokingly. 

'I'm not complaining, the more I can look at him and his abs the better. I think he wants to kill me with how good he looks though'

'Believe me, I rather see you alive', you hear Connor's voice. 

Suddenly he is standing behind Evie. You were so busy talking to her that you didn't see him.

'Hey Con', you say awkwardly as you didn't think he would practically be in front of you.

He lays down on the lounger on the other side of you. Evie gives you a reassuring smile as she gets up. You look at her with a pleading look to make her stay but she leaves to give you some alone time with Connor. Not knowing what to do you just look in front of you while you eat your ice cream. From the corner of your eye you can see Connor looking at you with a smirk on his face and you just know he is about to make a comment.

'It's not because I'm sitting next to you that you can't continue staring at my abs', he starts talking.

You almost choke on your ice cream and you start coughing.

'I'm sorry what?' You try to play it cool.

'Don't pretend like I didn't hear you earlier, how did you say it? He always looks so incredibly good shirtless', he says laughing. 

'You were never meant to hear that. You know it's very inappropriate to overhear someone else's conversation', you try to defend yourself.

'I'm just teasing you', Connor says with a smile.

As response you playfully stick your tongue out to him which makes him giggle. You turn your head back to continue eating your ice cream. A drip of ice cream falls on your boob. Connor's eyes are glued on you as you wipe it away with your finger. When you look up at him he looks away with a guilty look. Suddenly you get an idea to pay Connor back for making fun of you. 

When you're done eating your ice cream you get up from the sunbed. Your back is facing Connor as you're pulling your bikini bottoms a little higher so he gets to see more of your ass. You walk away and you feel Connor staring at you. You dive into the pool in your most elegant way. Connor's eyes never leave you and follow every move you make. You swim a few laps in the pool while Connor pretends to be busy on his phone. You know well enough that when you can't see him that he is looking at you. Suddenly you see James walking towards Connor. He says something to him and Connor stands up to follow James back into the hotel. As the fun is over you decide to come out of the pool and pick your stuff to go back inside. 

After dinner you head back to your hotel room. You throw yourself on the bed and you take your phone. As you're scrolling through your Instagram feed you stumble across a picture of a shirtless Connor. It's taken by the pool where you all were sitting earlier today. 

'Come on, why is he showing up everywhere', you mumble to yourself.

You're still thinking about what happened earlier. There was a vibe between you two but you can't place it. It felt more like a tension maybe even more sexual tension. It was playful and fun, it was exciting. Suddenly you see on your phone that Connor posted a story to his close friends. You open it and you see that he is sitting in the jacuzzi by the pool. Tristan and Brad are also on the photo. Maybe you should just join them and find out what this vibe between you and Connor is. 

You pick a red bikini out of your suitcase and change in them. It reveals a little bit more than the one you were wearing earlier that day. You also put on a white beach dress so you don't have to walk through the hotel in only your bikini. You put your hair up in a messy bun. Ready to go you make your way to the pool area. 

The air is chilly outside as it's evening. A few lights are lightning up the pool. The jacuzzi is next to the pool. You walk towards the boys who are laughing about something. On a table next to the jacuzzi there is a bottle of what you think is champagne and three glasses. Brad turns his head towards your way and is the one who notices you.

'Hey y/n! Do you wanna join us?', he asks.

Nerves are creeping up on you. Maybe it was a bad idea to come here while he is talking with his best friends. You feel like you're interrupting something.

'I thought I would be alone here', you lie. 'I think I'm interrupting so I guess I can better go back'.

'Oh come on y/n, we're not discussing anything serious so join us', Tristan says.

You smile at them and you get into the jacuzzi. The temperature of the water is perfect, not too cold and not too hot. The bubbles are relaxing and you feel all the tension leaving your muscles. You can feel Connor's eyes on you. He smiles when you look at him. The boys continue their conversation although it's only Brad and Tristan who are talking. Connor is staying silent, not interested in the conversation anymore. You close your eyes and lean back.

'I think it's time to go out', you hear Brad say.

'I'm coming with you', Tristan says as they both get up and get out of the jacuzzi.

'Are you staying Connor?', Brad asks.

'Yeah, just for a little bit'.

Brad and Tristan walk away, their voices fading away the further they are. Suddenly you feel one of Connor's feet going up your leg. His leg is rubbing against yours. Your eyes are still closed but you have to smile.

'You're such a tease', you say. 

'Am I? What am I doing?', Connor plays innocent while he continues.

You look at him and you role your eyes in a playful way. 

'You know damn well what you're doing Con'

'Well I wasn't the one who was staring at my abs all day'

'You're not gonna let that go are you'

'Probably not'

'Good to know I boosted your ego but I wasn't the only one staring today'

Connor looks surprised, almost guilty at what you say. He is caught off guard and his cheeks are turning red, proving his guilt.

'I saw you staring at my boobs and my ass'

'I uhm, I didn't'

You laugh because of how startled and speechless he is. It's all or nothing now to find out what this vibe is. You move closer to him. In a daring mood you sit down on his lap with your legs on either side of him. He looks even more surprised now. You put your arms around his neck. Connor places his hands in your waist. Slowly a smile is forming on his lips. You move your head closer to him and he closes the gap between you two by connecting your lips. His soft lips are moving slow against yours. 

'You don't know for how long I've wanted to do this', Connor says after you've parted.

You let your hands slide from his neck to his abs. You keep yourself steady on them. Connor's hands move from your waist to your ass. He gives them a light squeeze which makes you smile. You push your lips on his again. This time the kiss is a little bit more heated. Connor's lips are pressing harder on yours. His tongue is slowly sliding in your mouth where he plays with your tongue. 

Connor's lips move from your mouth to your neck where he starts sucking on your skin. The pressure is giving you pleasure and you throw your head back. You know for sure there will be a red spot on that place. His mouth moves further to your boobs where he leaves a trail of kisses. You take his head between your two hands and you look at him. His eyes are sparkling and a smile is playing on his lips. You connect your lips with his again in a very passionate kiss. His hands are gripping your ass harder now. Without realizing you start grinding in on him. Suddenly Connor lets out a load moan. You know why when you feel his boner grow in his loose swimming shorts. You stop kissing him to look at him. Both of you are left with red cheeks. 

'I'm so sorry, I just-, I can't really help it', Connor says embarrassed.

'No no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that', you say as embarrassed as him. 

Both of you need to laugh about the situation.

'But uhm, you really need to get off me now or it's gonna get worse', Connor says, he doesn't even dare to look at you. 

'Oh yeah of course', you say and you get off of him. 'I think it's better for me to go then'

'Yeah that's okay'

'Aren't you coming?', you ask. 

'Well I prefer not to walk through the hotel with a boner. 

'Yeah, I get that, I'm gonna get going then'

You get out of the jacuzzi and before you go you turn around one more time to smile at Connor. He returns the smile and you turn back around to walk inside the hotel. 

When you're in your hotel room you go straight to the bathroom to take a shower. You look in the mirror and in your neck you can see the hickey that Con left in your neck. With your fingers you go over it and you have to smile. You get undressed and get into the shower. 

After your shower you get dressed in your pyjamas. When you're done with your skincare routine you get out of the bathroom. You notice that there is a little paper by the door of your room. Probably someone shoved it under your door. You pick it up and open it.

'Tonight was amazing, looking forward to go on a date with you as soon as we get home ;) Con x'

The little note makes you smile. With these happy thoughts about Connor you fall asleep. 

______________________________

The Vamps requests are open

[shaunsummers]

Tek's Birthday!

"Dude...you're serious?" Rebel's smile only widens at all this suddenly being placed in her lap. It was also just delightful to hear Tek talk about anything nerdy; whether a short burst or full on tangent. Even if she didn't understand what every word meant. "Yeah, fuck it. Let's do it!" Like there was a reason not to at this point. Tek was confident in being able to handle the computer stuff that Rebel surely couldn't touch even if she tried; and she had. It made her feel like her head was going to explode.

"You're giving them far too much credit." Lilith asserts, idly draining the hot water into the sink. The wild parties of the past, oh, she remembered well. Chances were high for a fight, some slutty pair hooking up, something getting broken, etc. She was willing to put money on it. Actually, that was a great idea. "...I have a thought." Placing the pot aside, Lilith leans back against the counter as she taps her chin with the tip of her finger. "Why don't we place bets?"

While the change of subject was welcomed and relieving, Siren didn't want to end their impromptu conversation on an awkward note. In the background, however, she was still trying to process Beatrix's words. Shaun was only fifteen or sixteen when her and Ash were together, very young to go through anything she, herself, just walked out of. The fighting, manipulation, the constant need for dominance. Siren wasn't aware of her age, either, until they lived together. There was...one hell of a gap between those two. Thinking about it again now, with a sense of sobriety and distance, it curled at her stomach.

"You're offering your boob blunt?" Discarding the potential mind trap in earnest, Siren flashes her a smile in humor. "I'm honored." Still, she was already holding her pen but decides to have a small hit as an appetizer for what was surely a heavily packed joint. "So, how has the life of Beatrix been since graduating?" Steering the topic in a completely different direction was an easy choice. One that would hopefully clear the stiff air between them. Though, she was genuinely curious about her in general.

-------------------

"Of course I'm serious! I'm kinda surprised you haven't done it already!" Tek beams warmly, eagerly soaking in her excitement. "It may take me a minute to figure out how to set it up, but I can't start throwing your name around until school starts again, anyways! I'm sure the syntax is a bit different since it's coding visuals rather than physical output on a circuit board, but I'm sure it's gotta be similar. Just a sequence of formulas chaining together to do a thing, so if I figure out what those are, I can start slapping them together. And I'm sure existing code is out there somewhere, so I might not even have to do most of it from scratch, anyways..."

Tek finally surfaces from her brain vomit, catching a flash of Rebel's slightly glazed and confused look, and laughs bashfully. "...I'll figure it out. But yeah, I'm in!" She felt the sudden urge to hug Rebel in her enthusiasm. What was this, a quasi-business partnership? Of sorts? A handshake seemed gauche, at least for them. Meh, I'm doin' it! Tek leans forward with a big smile, scooping her close for a big squeeze. "It's a deal!"

"Bets?" Shaun laughs, folding her arms in curiosity. "On what, exactly?"

Quinn could already see where this was going, and hell yeah she wanted to be involved. "Like a fantasy football thing? Betting Kevin McHuge Pecs runs 300 yards? But instead, like, Rebel's slutty ass makes out with 3 people or Devin punches someone in the boob?"

"Take it while it's hot." Relaxing under the mitigated tension, Beatrix wastes no time striking the end of the blunt and letting that whole subject pass. "If your tolerance is low, be careful. I do not pack these lightly." She cricks a smile, the smell easily and strongly choking the patio air.

"I'm still living with my dad, but I go to Commonwealth in Richmond. In the business program. I hate it, but if we have to live in a capitalist shithole, I want a decent piece of the power." Beatrix exhales in humor, taking a hit of the sneaky cigar before passing it along. "Most of my classes are online, so I only go in two days a week. And on weekends, if I don't work. I do burlesque at Fallout. It's fun, and a little extra money since I'm only part time."

[aspiringsophrosyne]

Episode 3: The Sunken Tomb

Oh, you can hear and feel the floor clinging to your shoes as you try to find your seats. Don't get stuck, you want to sit down, because you don't want to miss the end of this one.

The Good.

Even though it doesn't give her any good news, it makes sense that Pike would be checking up on Emon. And it's a smart way to let us see what's going on there.

~~~

Like Matt Mercer, I also appreciate Vax's background Rogue shit.

Magic

Again, I have to praise the diversity of the magic. Undoubtedly, one reason they've trimmed down the number of spells everyone can use from the stream is because it makes it easier to give each caster or caster type a unique aesthetic. As noted, Keyleth's healing looks very different from Pike's, Scanlan's offensive magic looks different from Keyleth's, and so on.

Here, Zahra and Kash get to join the club. Zahra, as the first and only warlock this team will most likely encounter, shows off an almost bloody red power that's inexplicitly ominous; Kash's golden spears are reminiscent of Pike's holy weapon abilities, fitting for another cleric.

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I was sure they wouldn't keep the Kash/Keyleth kiss, but I like that they replaced it with light-hearted flirting.

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Yay, Grog's beard's finally here. And, of course, the episode wouldn't have been complete without the cast ragging on Matt's choice of names. And if you keep an eye on Percy while Zahra's giving Vex shit, you can see he's not happy. Love the little subtle things. Zahra's eye twitch, in particular, made me grin. 

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The idea to flashback to the twins' childhoods, specifically here, was brilliant if sadistic. Since I knew how this episode was ending, I knew the flashbacks were there to twist that knife even after titmouse had already stabbed us with it. The transitions from past to present are very smooth and make it very clear that all of this is on both twins' minds as they traverse the Sunken Tomb.

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The allusions to the Calamity on the walls...oh, that's the good stuff.

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The jokes aren't bad in this episode. Maybe I'm just a sucker for this kind of setup. Vax warning everyone to be wary of traps, only for Grog to immediately set one off, plus Vax's face afterward, hits my sweet spot. 

Grog and Pike

I like the little things that come up here and there that remind you that the gnomes can sometimes have trouble where the others wouldn't. Pike getting in almost over her head before her best buddies helped her out was a neat little example: and her adorably hyping up Grog's new beard while everyone else was looking around was the cherry on top of their interaction. 

God, I love having Ashley and Pike there all the time. Pike and Grog were always a fantastic duo when she could be there, and we get to see more of that in the series.

For example, adding in that of all people, Pike specifically notices something's off about Grog while he's wielding Craven Edge. Even though the sword did end up drawing her blood in the stream, Ashley wasn't around enough for Pike to notice on her own. So this change up, alongside Pike and Grog's more frequent shenanigans, fits in well.

And it serves as suitable foreshadowing.

The Fight

The altercation with the Adaro is a good one. Titmouse knows how to keep the fight scenes from getting stale, so we get in some good brawling (with the Adaro dragging our heroes underwater, adding to the danger) and then an impressive display of water magic. Also, yay for Trinket! He gets to be badass here. 

Zahra and Vex's belligerent saving of each other is a treat. And, of course, that's the music that plays when Scanlan's surfing with everybody on the hand. Of course, it is.

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I like to think that one of the statues in the Tomb is of the Champion whose death started the Clay, Dust, and Stone families.

Kasha and Zahra

Will Friedle is still throwing out the funny lines. 

One thing that warms my heart is that I noticed this version of Kash is more upbeat than when we first met him in the original. I figured it was just a blending of how his personality developed later in the stream equivalent of this episode until I realized the common factor is Zahra. Kash is more upbeat in the stream's Sunken Tomb and this episode because he's been traveling with Zahra. 

I was even surprised when I noticed he still had the scars on his arms from Kash's original backstory. I wasn't happy to see them (because fuck Vesh) but I did appreciate the incorporation of the detail.

The Twins

There really isn't enough I can say about Laura and Liam's acting here. They pull off the younger twins with competence, and Vex's audible reaction to being hit by the Matron's trap sounds weirdly perfect. It's not easy to sound like your sentence got cut off after you were lifted off your feet by an arrow of pure death magic to the chest, but Laura manages it very well.

And, of course, Liam O'Brien. Liam O'Brien, goddamn you, why must you break my heart into such tiny pieces on the regular? Those last seconds of the episode hurt, even though I knew what was coming! That unreserved broken weeping after the sound cuts back in, right before the credits....ugh. 

I hadn't even noticed until the Q&A that this whole episode was without ambient music until that last moment, and when I realized that, I was impressed, and those final few moments hit even harder in hindsight. 

The Bad (or at least not great)

Nitpicks

When Percy suggests Keyleth turn into a bird to save Scanlan, she exclaims "A bird? How does that help!?"

I don't know, Kiki. But you thought it was a pretty useful form just an episode ago, without anybody having to suggest it. And you turned out to be right, so you'd think it'd be something you'd consider worth using again.

They could've had her yell to Scanlan from off screen that she was going to do that and was going to save him, only for Kash and Zahra to beat her to the punch. Or have Percy suggest a creature she didn't just use so she could refuse it for a reason that made more sense. Just some ideas.

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I feel like there was a missed opportunity for a comeback in Vex and Zahra's snark-off.

Zahra: Ooh, a broom. Marvelous. Oh, you have such a keen eye for value.

Vex: Well that's why I used to work with you, Zahra dear.

Just saying.

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We didn't need Zahra and Kash to verbally spell out their plan to let Vox Machina trigger the traps instead of them. Just have them hang back and give the other adventurers a "Oh no, after you." only for Grog to trigger the traps that he does. Maybe have a shot of Zahra and Kash looking smug and conspiratorial right afterwards.

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I think instead of this:

Vex (saving Zahra from an Adaro): That was a close one, darling.

(some fighting)

Zahra (saving Vex from an Adaro) Wasn't that close.

This would be a little better:

Vex (saving Zahra from an Adaro): That was a close one, darling.

(some fighting)

Zahra (saving Vex from an Adaro) Not as close as that was.

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It's not a hundred percent clear to me whether the incident with the tiara is the straw that broke the camel's back that made the twins leave Syngorn for good or not. The next episode suggests this is the case; future episodes could clear it up further.

I would've preferred us not to see the final straw, though. It leaves us wondering how bad that could've been if Syldor's treatment in the flashback wasn't enough to make the twins flee for the Material Plane. 

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Maybe this is morbid, but I think we could've had a few more seconds of Vax shaking Vex's body before we get the shot of his tears hitting her face. I just think it would either take him a little longer to realize what had happened to her, or it would take him a little longer to accept what had.

The Younger Twins

While flashbacks to the twins' childhood were an inspired choice, the execution could have been better.

The intended idea seems to be that Vax remained in the same spot where he and Vex separated, while Vex spent enough time in the woods alone to field dress, skin, butcher, and cook the meat of the deer she killed, as well as witness the natural light change at least once.

However, there are some issues with how this plays out.

Firstly, although the spot where they separate appears similar to where Vex finds Vax later, no unique landmark unambiguously denotes it as the same one.

Secondly, if Vax had stayed in that place for more than a day or multiple days, it would've been natural for Vex to have been shocked and commented on it aloud. This would have made it explicit to the audience what Vax had been doing. Or rather not doing.

As things stand, the intended idea is muddled.

One thing they could have done was establish that the twins had previously built a tree stand or treehouse in the forest. Vex is a hunter, so that would track....if you'll pardon the pun. This structure would mark Vax's lack of movement, but it could give us more than that. Before Vex blows up and leaves him, we could've had Vax explore it and reminisce about things they brought up there or did there before. This would show the audience that the kids run out into the woods rather frequently, and that, by extension, Syldor pulls this kind of dickery rather frequently too.

Then when Vex comes back to the tree stand/house and sees Vax still there under it, she can say something like "Have you not moved from that spot since last I saw you!? It's been days!!" only for him to run up and hug her, leading into "Do not go far from me."

This one was a doozy, next one we deal with the aftermath. Make sure you get to the next theater on time. You won't want to miss what happens next.